I always wondered what the citizens of Paradigm City spent all their time reading. The newspaper, of course, but what’s in it? I feel that whatever it is must give us great insight into the culture and current state of Paradigm City. There are no books seen within the series, save for a library full of empty books, so turning to newspapers is our only hope to gaining information on this very unique piece of history, from an even more unique time that has, unfortunately, passed. Just as the literature of Vladimir Nabokov — most notably “Lolita” — has taught us that all the people the author lived near were terrible human beings, I wish to learn what type of world Paradigm City really was, beneath the surface of everything that The Big O showed to us.

These are the precious few pieces of evidence I have collected, through hours of my free time and an undisclosable sum of AUD. On this day I have at last deciphered, to the best of my ability (and with assistance from commenter Jackson Ferrell for the last few bits), the contents of every issue of this newspaper — “The New Paradigm” (styled “The New paradigm”).

with the feel which does a grounder grounder nap in the world that this should work When it is hot, it is height without the stubbornness as a concavity given, If it isn’t hot in summer, just, very nice doesn’t grow, and fruit doesn’t grow, either, and it is decided that everything loses a live color. Though it rushes even into the son freely and dies, the thing of the fellow whom is as [undecipherable] as that that he hot in summer is good. A useless human being too much, as it is greatly is trouble with the — thing on the small earth now in this small Japan. If, perse and the one without stubbornness are spellt [repeat from beginning]

… But it turns out that not only am I uninterested and no good at serious or critical analysis of such writings, but I’m actually with Nabokov on this one. Reading fiction to learn truths about a time or place at which the book was written? Not really into that. … But if anyone were to actually analyze this nonsense I’d probably fall in love with them anyway.